First blog; Stress Relief

I don't know why I want to start this blog. I have seen several friends with blogs, and recently started one strictly about my plans on studying abroad (check link in sidebar). But I thought I could start something unrelated on this site, to maybe cope with some issues I have been having as of late, to vent a little without worry of friends being annoyed or being an emotional burden to my boyfriend. 

I'l start venting for today's events and see how this goes. I woke up tired, as perusal during the week, and my wishes for a hot shower were not granted, damn fucking piping in his apartment. Normal Tuesday morning for me I guess, had some left of cheesy bread from pizza the other night and watched one of my favorite vloggers, The Amazing Atheist, on you tube. All in all fine. My Ecology 372 class went well, except for my normal issue; there are three young women in both this class and my Ochem 345 class, all of them drive me up the wall, and I have a class with them EVERY FUCKING day. Two of them are friends, so they like to talk, but their conversations are so superficial and conceded, I wish I could punch some sense into their thick skulls. The other woman, though she seems nice, asks the most moronic questions, and has to have a statement on everything the professor says. I get so urk-ed by these people, and they are just a tip of the ice-burg of annoying people in my life.

Continuing on, today as every Tuesday this semester I have been going to therapy for anxiety and depression (mostly depression). And for anyone that knows me, they might be shocked at this statement. The "happy, loud, silly, hyper girl" is depressed? Yes I am and have been for roughly four or five years. I started therapy to get help with test anxiety, but it has led to something more, and apparently these people want me to actually fix this darkness I've had living in the back of my mind. Today I discussed my more recent fears and the self-harming and suicidal thoughts to my therapist today. I had hopped it would have been just a normal session, but no, she had to go on and try to "help". And now they want me to try medication for my depression. That's the last thing I need right now. I have two exams tomorrow, and several projects due tomorrow, and I do not need all this crap that people keep loading onto me today.

The final straw of today's misadventures was my OChem lab, because someone fucked up one of the reactants, several other people and I had fucked up results and had to restart the ENTIRE lab over again. I wanted to literary kill people, babies, mothers, anyone I could get my hands on. Luckily I ran into a friend at the bus stop headed home. I ranted a little to her and it felt better.

Now I sitting here finishing this first real blog up, I'm not sorry it ran a little long. I feel a bit better after writing this, getting all my stress out on to the internet. I don't know who will read this, I don't plan on openly share this on Facebook or anything. But maybe a friend sees this and maybe someone someday understands how I feel, and why I am the way I am.

For now, I have to get back to my school work and studying for my exams.

Talk at ya later.

Bri