I Hate My Mother

So I haven't written here in a while, I have had all intent to but just lacked motivation, as of right now I'm using this as a distraction from studying Ochem. But I do want to rant some, especially about this last week where I was at home due to spring break. Now that I have started taking this AD meds I was worried about going home and that my mother would find out, since I know she would make me stop (she doesn't believe in mental illnesses like depression and thinks it's just a mind set you can change at will). She never saw or found out, thank goodness, but she still ended up annoying the hell out of me the entire week.
To talk about my mother brings up very angry feelings, so forgive me for my need to curse in these next bit.
My mother is a hypocrite, the biggest one I know and I hate her and her "god" for all their lies and bullshit.
When I went home, I wasn't even in my parents house for an hour before my mother commented on my weight and told me I needed to lose it. I wanted to scream at her and kick the shit out of her fat ass. She is heavier than me, and her stomach far exceeds her breasts, unlike me where I am perfectly per-portioned to where my boobs are much bigger than my stomach, even though I am over weight. But this was only the first insult of the week.
The second issue I had with my mother was a few days later after I got birth control from my doctor for my intensely painful cycle. The doctor said the pill would help with the pain, the effects of my digestive system, the heavy amounts of blood, etc. When I got home and told her all this, and was very excited because I get so sick during that time of the month, and these drugs would only give me one period every three months, so I was stoked! The first words out of my mother's mouth were "this does not give you the permission to have sex". I wanted to punch her fat fucking face. She cannot tell me what to do with my body. Plus she didn't even fucking care! She didn't care that this would relieve my pain, or that this would help me at all, she only cared about that fact that is would prevent pregnancy.Well fuck her! I've been having sex with my boy friend for over six months! So fuck you mother!
Ugh this is the woman who, to my face, told me I was jealous of my much thinner sister. Even after arguing with her, telling her I was NOT, and I would NEVER want to be like my sister in any way, but she still believes I am. Fuck her!
The third and last thing that makes me hate her fucking guts was when she said the most hypocritical thing. She was telling me about her cousin and how her cousin talks down about her chubbier daughter(the other 3 are all thin and athletic). My mother then mentioned how horrible that was and how you should never put down your child because they are over weight. You've read the above right? Do you see how hypocritical she is being here?! I wanted to much to yell at her and tell her to take her own fucking advise! But I didn't.
I stayed quiet all week, said out of the way and quiet. I just wanted to get through the week without any fights with my mother, so I could see my boy friend and my friends. I hate her, and as I grow older I realise that the less she knows about me the better.
Talk at ya later,
Bri